Thursday, 23 February 2017

TO KEEP A GOOD HOME

I graduated from the University with my four best friends namely,  Eugenia, Gabriella, Bervlyn and Joan. We were the best of friends during school days.
I loved them as if they were family and wished we would never part ways but life took a different turn.
Soon after my  national service, my boyfriend, Jack , proposed marriage to me and I accepted wholeheartedly.
I met Jack when he was at the university and I was a senior high school graduate. He was living with his parents but after some time, he built his own house and moved in.
He is the kind of man most women would want to have as a husband since he is caring, understanding and above all God fearing.
My best friends were so happy for me. Some of them kept saying they wished God would give them a rich and caring husband as Jack.
After the wedding ceremony and our honeymoon days were over, I began to face the reality of life.
Jack gave me everything a wife could ask for because he was financially stable.
One weekend, my best friends paid us a visit and were surprised that  I was doing the mobbing, sweeping, washing and cooking all by myself.
(Gabriella decided to speak out)
She's known as the type who wouldn't keep quiet over anything.
Gabriella: Mira, why are you doing all these by yourself?
Isn't jack supposed to get you a house help?.
Me: My husband doesn't support the house help idea.
Joan:  Eiii hmmmm,  then you'll suffer oo. A beautiful modern lady like you paa. You need a house help or better still ask your husband to assist you with the chores.
(Bervelyn joined in the nagging)
Bervelyn: I used to envy you oo Mira because I thought you were given everything by Jack but to see you doing all these junk work all in the name of marriage, trust me, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.
(They burst out in laughter but I cared less)
They sat and watched  television while I did all the chores and served them lunch after which  they bid me farewell.
I didn't complain because I knew their behaviour from school days that they never liked to do any chores and since I loved and cherished our friendship, I lowered my pride and did everything at the hostel.
Never for once did I leave them out of my prayers for God to change them.
They kept visiting from time to time and ridiculed me that I'm a slave in my marital home and this began to affect me emotionally.
I began to expect Jack to help me with house chores but I couldn't voice it out to him. Everyday after work, he'll eat dinner, then attend to some of his office work, kiss me good night and off he'll go to bed.
He gave me all the care a woman would ask for but I needed help to keep the home.
Sometimes I felt my friends were right and that my husband was making me a slave. There were days that I wished I could ask for divorce and leave his house.
His excuse of not wanting a house help is that they bring problems to the house so I endured in silence.
A year later, I got pregnant and doing the house work alone became very tedious but I couldn't complain and kept praying to God for strength.
One morning,  I woke up feeling very feverish so I had to go back to sleep even though there were chores to be done.  I woke up about three hours later to find breakfast on the bed. It was like a dream. I rushed to the kitchen after hearing noise only to see Jack busily washing the dishes.
I interupted.
Me: Good morning love, please no work  today?.
Jack: I resigned from work my dear. How was your sleep?.
I couldn't believe my ears.
Me:  What? ..but why would you do that, Jack?.
Jack: Because I need to assist my wife at home.
It sounded cool but it didn't make any sense to me.
He explained to me that he had always wanted to help at home but his company wouldn't make it possible for him. They kept giving loads of work to the extent that made him had little time to pay attention to what happens at home. When he realised the workload was too much in the house especially with me carrying his child, he asked his boss for a week leave to assist but he was denied and asked him to either quit or stay. He thought his boss was being unfair so he resigned.
I felt sorry for him.
Deep within my heart, I wanted help at home but never did I ever wish for my husband to quit his job.
Me: I'm so sorry about that ok....I'll pray for you to get another job soon.
He drew closer to me, kissed my forehead and asked me to go and shower before eating. I obeyed while he continued with the chores.
I realised that I had been bitter for nothing, thinking my husband was making me a slave but one thing I was proud of myself was the fact that I kept praying for him and never raised a voice at him.  Jack never knew how to cook or do any house chores when we met but unknown to me, he learnt bit by bit from me and I was glad that my hardwork paid off.
I kept praying for him to get another job and God being so good,  His company called him back to the office a week later and this time around, they made things flexible.

My best friends also learnt their lessons from mine and decided to learn how to do chores and also stand for others no matter how unwilling they are to help in return.
The world is the way it is because we all sit idle and expect the other person to be the first to serve us instead of setting the example for them to follow.
NB: There is power POWER in prayers, It can change any situatio

TRUE LOVE DOESN'T COME EASY

The first thing that crossed my mind after graduating from medical school was to get married to my longtime boyfriend, Carl Eghan.
There was no way I could give up on him for another man since he was very supportive during medical school days and that made me care more for him.
Each time I asked him why he loved me so much he'll simply reply.
" I don't really know why dear, it's natural "
But somehow I felt there should be a reason at least.
I was posted to one of the best government hospitals in the country to work after my housemanship and within a short while, I won the admiration of all the staff and management of the hospital because I devoted much time to care for patients who were entrusted in my care.
At a point in time,  some patients refused to be attended to by any doctor apart from me and
I must confess that it was a difficult task but through prayers and  patience, I was able to go through the challenge. Sometimes Carl had to wait for hours at the hospital for me to finish with my patients before he drove me home. Never for once did he complain about it even though I expected it from him.
On one sunny morning, he paid me a surprise visit at home and proposed marriage which I  gladly accepted.
Our wedding ceremony was one that almost every woman will want on her big day.
Two years down the lane and we were blessed with a beautiful daughter.
My husband's attitude changed after our child was born , he got home late from work often , and wouldn't kiss me on the forehead as he used to. I had to beg for his attention which was unusual of him ever since we met.
"Where did I go wrong?, did I do or say something bad to him that made him change so much?" I asked myself so many questions without answers but I kept praying.
One day, I was reflecting on the things that made me happy in the past and I realised that caring for my patients and working hard at the hospital made me happy.  So I gathered a lot of courage and began to do those things again since I paid little attention to it after I got married because I thought my family was all that I needed more than work. I began to focus on strategies that helped me carter for my home as well as combine with my work as a doctor and as the days went by I saw great change. My happiness was back and I stopped paying attention to little things that made me nag and expected so much attention from my husband even during his working hours.
One evening , my husband got home earlier than his usual closing time and kissed me on the forehead the moment he entered our room.
(One could read the shock that was written on my face)
Carl: "honey please let me do the cooking today and please take rest".
 
It was like a dream but I insisted on doing the cooking myself. As I was about to leave for the kitchen, he held my hands and pulled me closer to him.
Me: "You've been ignoring me for God knows how many months now, you come home one day and pretend nothing happened?."
( I became offensive instead of being happy about my husbands change of  behavior and before I could say another word, he silenced me with a deep kiss).
Carl: I wasn't ignoring you dear, I became afraid....
Me: Afraid of what?...
Carl: please allow me to end...I was afraid because you changed after we got married and always depending on me for so much attention which was unusual of you when we were dating. Moreover you stopped being active with work and doing the things that I used to admire about you, the things that made me fall in love with you for eg. Puting smiles on your patients faces, not the nagging type etc but I just didn't know how to communicate your actions so you don't get offended but now that you have started to put in those efforts, I've began to admire you more especially the humanitarian services you do as a medical doctor.
Me: wow, so you are now telling me after all these years that I won your heart by the way I worked hard as a medical doctor?.....
At that moment I got angry and left the room but after some time, I began to ponder over what he said.
" Does this mean that people fall in love with what we do?...so many questions ran through my mind but somehow I began to feel happy that I won my husband back.
We sorted out our differences and since then we both put in much efforts to make sure that the home was intact while we combined it with our professional duties at work.
In all, I learnt that getting married does not stop one from pursuing their dream if only one is able to blend it with taking good care of the home.
I waited for many years to understand why my husband loves me so much and it was worth knowing, even though not the way I wanted but I appreciate the fact that his admiration for me isn't so much of my good looks as a young lady but because he's happy knowing I care for  people who aren't family as part of my work as a medical doctor.
In our quest for love, are we willing to work hard to sustain what brought about the attraction or we'll simply relax and not work hard to make that attraction stay forever?........Is true love a pursuing task or one that needs no efforts the moment one gets ring on the finger?.
End.

ADELINE'S FAITH IN GOD ( PART 2 )

Adeline kept praying with the hopes that someone would come to her aid. She felt a touch on the shoulder and raised her head only to realise that it was Fred.
Adeline: How come you are here!, where are my friends?.....
Fred: They are in the car, some distance from here!.
Fred answered calmly and helped her to get up on her feet. He then offered her food and drinks.
Adeline: I'm sorry but I can't take it since I wouldn't be able to grant your offer.
Fred smiled shyly and touched her shoulders again.
Fred: You are a tough and honourable lady. He whispered to her.
Adeline: Those words won't work on me, tell me why you here and leave please.
Fred: I've  come to inform you that I'm in love with you!.
Adeline: hahaha! Funny you....Is that what you do to woo vulnerable women into your sleeves?...I can never fall in love with a man who sleeps with women before helping them.
Fred: I didn't sleep with your friends before giving them the food and drinks though I requested and to be frank with you I don't intend to do it. I only did it to test you guys. You have every right to be mad at me but kindly accept the food since I don't want anything bad to happen to you.
She accepted the food after Fred convinced her that he only said that to test their fidelity.
After eating, he asked her to join in the car and took them to their various homes.
Adeline was the last person to get home.
Fred: hope I am forgiven?...................
Adeline: Yes you are!  .....
she looked at him and smiled.
Fred: can I please get a hug to confirm that I'm forgiven?....
Adeline: No please.
He gave her his complimentary card and begged her to call him.
Two months later, Fred invited her over to his hometown.
When she got to the town, she learnt that Fred was not a man as she thought but a good and honourable Prince who has so much respect for people especially women and children. He had already arranged a royal party with his family to welcome her.
Adeline: I can't believe all these, I never thought of it......
He looked at her in the eyes and hugged her even before she could complete her statement. Two months later, they got married.
At the wedding reception, Fred took the mic and said.
"Adeline is a great & fearless woman who would never give up her pride even at the expense of her life, She helped me to know the importance of standing firm in faith as a Christian even in the midst of difficulty & inspired me to accept the Lord as my personal saviour".
He held her hands after his speech, drew her closer to him and kissed her forward to show his appreciation.
Lawrencia and Dorothy learnt a great lesson from their friend.They never thought that such a small incidence could be a test to their fidelity. They gave their lives to God.
Life will not always give us what we desire at the time we want but when we are able to stand the test of time, the rewards becomes bigger than the difficulty.
Take care and know that God loves you.

ADELINE'S FAITH IN GOD ( PART 1 )


Three adorable friends, namely, Lawrencia, Adeline and Dorothy decided to go on a trip to a far away land where they have never been to.
Lawrencia and Dorothy hailed from rich homes while Adeline came from a poor, principled home. Dorothy offered to use her personal car and Adeline had to sacrifice and drive.  Halfway to the land, they ran out of diesel, food and drinks.They had to stop and wait for a good samaritan to rescue them.Their  route wasn't one that many people prefer to use so they waited for long in hunger. Lawrencia and Dorothy could not bear it and began to cry. They felt sorry for embarking on such a trip. Meanwhile Adeline quietly took her Bible & invited them to join in reading but they refused.
Lawrencia: We are hungry & all you can think of is reading and praying?...
Adeline looked at her friends & smiled. She knew prayers and reading of the Bible would help them but they didn't understand her no matter how she explained.
Some hours later, they heard the sound of a car. Dorothy and Lawrencia begun to rejoice.
"He looks like a prince"....
Lawrencia whispered to Dorothy when the car got closer to them. It was a handsome, young man dressed like a prince.
"What on earth are these beautiful ladies doing out here by themselves?.
"We want help please?.....They answered. After explaining everything to the gentleman,  he also introduced himself as Fred and showed them some fruits and foodstuffs he had in his car. He had lots of money too.
"I will help you ladies but on one condition!...He said.
"And what would that be?...Adeline questioned.
Fred: Relax ladies, all I want is to lay down with each one of you & you'll have food to eat since you girls are so hungry. I will also drive you home safely.
Everyone was quiet and the place was getting darker. Fear griepped them.
Lawrencia: "Let's give in and get home safely, after all what haven't you and I done before?....she whispered to Dorothy.
Adeline: I will do no such stupid thing simply because I'm hungry and need help.
Adeline replied in anger.
Dorothy and Lawrencia decided to give in so they could get help.
Fred: You prefer to die at this place instead of giving in something little. Oh that's sad!...He said.
Adeline: "Yes I'll prefer to die than give my pride to you"
She held her stomach in pain & started calling for water but no one paid attention to her.
Fred gave the other ladies food,water,fruits and asked them to sit in his car so he could take them to their house hoping that Adeline would beg him but she didn't and laid on the floor in pain alone.
Before they set off, Adeline cried out to her friends to inform her family that she loved them dearly & that she would be home soon.
What will happen to Adeline?.
Will her faith as a Christian save her from this situation?....Kindly wait patiently for the next part. Thanks.